Radio Silence

There's nothing more frightening to me than absolute silence.

Imagine you're in the car, and you tune your radio to one of your favorite stations, but nothing is there. Your friendly neighborhood djs are absentee, there's no music. It's creepy. I've always thought that an apocalypse would be known by it's silence.

But being the writer-type I am, the term "radio silence" has leaked into my vernacular for other situations(What can I say? It's a neat term). My dad not answering his phone? Radio silence. No word on whether the college is going to close for the snow? Radio silence.Have a great night with someone and think it's leading somewhere really positive, then having that person not talk to you or cross paths for the whole next week?

Radio silence.

It was a great night. A perfect night. Adventure, enchantment. Way more than I had bargained for, honestly. And I thought, I mean I really, really thought something was happening. It was like the tingle of electricity in the air before a summer thunderstorm. Or, to be less cliche, the feeling I imagine one would have if they were standing on the beach right before a tsunami hit, watching the water retreat and knowing damn well that they were gonna git hit like hell(much like the video below, a clip from the cinematic masterpiece "Deep Impact".)

To be perfectly fair, I don't know what I expected after that. Certainly not grand declarations of love; I'm a hopeless romantic, but not a fool. Maybe a text. That would seem appropriate in 2016. But absolutely nothing? I hadn't counted on that.

The rational part of my brain has come up with a handy-dandy list of reasons why this could be happening: Feelings are big scary things, he has other things on his mind, he wants to maintain the great friendship we have, we work together and he's not about that, it was a one-off and he was just feeling sort of cheeky that night, that something is still coming and I just need to be patient. These are all logical things. But as my rational brain only works for about 10% of my day, the rest of my brain has come up with it's own list of reasons that are far worse: He changed his mind, I somehow gave him the impression that I wasn't interested, or(and this is the very worst one) I'm making more out of it than it was and it's all in my head because I'm starved for affection.

Of course, the obvious question at this point is probably "Why don't you just ask him??" To which I say, "AHHHHHASDFHISKLAF;DAJ;." Which loosely translates to "I don't want to ask about something I'm half afraid I took more to heart than I should've and ruin what is at very least a fantastic friendship, also I'm not good at talking to boys."

Which leaves me sitting here by the radio, keeping it tuned and waiting for an update. So far, nothing but silence, but there has to be someone out there. Right?