Radio Overplay

Let's keep with the radio theme, since I like detailed metaphors.

Have you ever heard a song on the radio and thought "Wow! What a great song! I hope they play this one again!" And then they do play it again. And it still sounds great. Which leads a few other people to say "Wow! What a great song! I hope they play this one again!"

Eventually, the great song will be playing all the time. It's good, at first; you learn the lyrics by heart. But in time the song gets old. It feels less and less like a familiar friend, more and more like a tiresome routine. It has fallen victim to... overplay.

I think the same can happen to people, and events. We go over them in our head so many times that we know the words, the chords. The lyrics have all been analyzed, we divine all the possible meanings we can, and we're left with a thorough understanding of something we once just enjoyed.

I've gone over every minute detail of that night, both by myself and with other people. Everyone is making the same conclusions. They're good conclusions, too. But I've gotten so wrapped up in what everything means, that I've let go of how it felt.

What I felt was elation. I had an amazing night with one of the best souls the world has to offer. For the first time in possibly my life, I felt entirely connected to another human being; that no matter how fucked up I think I am, or how lost, or weird, or different, there's someone that sees that and knows it all too well(which is not to say no one else tries to understand or accept me, just that he in particular has a similar experience).

So I'm going to stop overplaying the song and just enjoy listening to it again. I'm going to stop worrying how he feels, and just enjoy that he likes to spend time with me, and that I can be myself.

It just might turn out to be my favorite song.