Day Twenty-Two

Good ol' twoty-two.

1. A song that someone as sung to you
Someone very near and dear to me was showing me a few of his songs. I don't know if they're titled at all, but he did sing them to me. So yeah. It was nice :)


2. Your academics
Or my lack thereof?

I did graduate high school, and I took a few college courses. Of course, the first few courses were only so I could be considered a student and use the theatre without renting it and I never did finish the last few because L I F E happened.

Honestly, I've always kind of thought about going back to college in some form. Not necessarily because I want to(I think the whole system is a crock shit, really), but because no one will ever take me seriously without a stupid piece of paper that says I know stuff. There's a multitude of things I am perfectly able to do and do well, but I've got no "proof". Ah, well. C'est la vie.

Day Twenty-One

My little blog challenge is old enough to drink!

1. Your favorite song
I already did say it was "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, but if I had to pick a second it would be "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace. The opening instrumentals remind me of what the stars sound like.

2.  How you hope your future will be like

Better, basically.

I hope I'll see more, have more stability, and be right in the head. Of course, there are less vague hopes, people that I hope will be in my life one way or another, but that's a given.

Day Twenty

Day twenty! The song challenge, ending at 25, is in the final stretch. The other one, the not-song challenge, is officially two-thirds of the way through.

1. The last song alphabetically in your iPod/iTunes

"1985" by Bowling for Soup. Woohoohoo!

2. Your fears
Wow. I fear the usual things. Y'know, death, pain, and spiders.

I do have a very specific phobia of tornadoes. Interestingly enough, this developed before I had ever seen Twister, and I've never actually seen a tornado in real life. It's a really awkward thing. Of course, every time a tornado watch/warning goes out for anywhere on the eastern shore I get all panicky and start listening to the wind and checking the weather over and over. I have tornado hidey-holes picked out all over Chestertown(the basement of the theatre, my basement, the basement of the local b&b, the basement of our arts center on campus, the women's bathroom at work... All places I know I can access one way or another.)

Phobias, man.

Day Nineteen

1. The first song alphabetically in your iPod/iTunes
"Acoustic #3" by the Goo Goo Dolls. For the record, I'm not sure that Acoustics #1 and #2 actually exist.

2. Five items you lust after
I'm not sure that "lust" is the best choice of word here, but I'll do my best.

1. A job that pays me enough to go on adventures and see doctors
2. Or a winning lottery ticket
3. A top-notch muscle car
4. A nice house
5. A golden retriever puppy

The more I was writing, the more I'm reminded that simple things like stability and the ability to save and make nice purchases(like a car or a golden retriever puppy which can run you as much as a used car)seem so far out of reach for the current generation that we literally crave them. It's a little sad. So, here's five things I deeply desire that didn't used to be considered basic life goals.

1. A winning lottery ticket(yes, again, because there is a difference between financial stability and a few million dollars)
2. The freedom to travel without giving up everything
3. The ability to know what to say all the time
4. That thing some people do where they can just be touched and not flinch
5. Motivation, honestly

Day Eighteen

My journal challenge is now old enough to vote and buy cigarettes .

1. A song you love but rarely listen to

My favorite song is "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, but I can't remember the last time I listened to the whole thing. You may think "Maybe it's not your favorite, then!" or "You probably overplayed it to death". But dear reader, the answer is actually much simpler(dumber) than that.

In "Iris", there is a long, dramatic guitar solo followed by a climactic cacophony or drums. It's really great. However, large chunks of this instrumentalization are left out of the radio version(probably for length's sake). Frankly, the radio version is an insult to the beauty of the full length version. An abomination. And when I went to illegally download the song to put it on my phone, the radio version is what I got.

So, that's why I don't listen to my favorite song. Because the version I have is shit, and I'm too forgetful to go find another one when I have the chance.


2. A problem that you have had

Houston, I have so many problems.

I don't even know what to pick for this one. I'm sure an entertaining problem would be preferred. There are fun car problems. There's my innate Chandler-ness(I'm awkward and desperate for love! I'm not so good at the advice; can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?").

Or there's the problem I have where I can't say the word "abominable" (or spell it, apparently-Thank you, autocorrect!). I mean, literally. Cannot do it. I sort of can if I sound out each syllable, but then it barely sounds like a word anymore.It's ridiculous.

Day Seventeen

1. A song that makes you want to dance
"I Got You" by Train. It's just so bouncy and fun!

2. Something that you're proud of
Huh. That's an excellent question. I suppose I'm proud of a few things."Dog Sees God" and "The Hairy Ape", my first two shows directing-wise, bring me a particular kind of pride. Not just the doing of the shows(though that, in itself, is worth a large amount of puffed-out-chestedness), but bringing those groups of people together. Most of them are started out as strangers and people on the fringes, and they all ended up as a part of something.

Day Fifteen

Halfway through the longer challenge, awwwww yeah!

1. A song you love singing along to
There are a lot of these. There are car singing songs, and shower songs, and house work songs. But after a conversation this weekend, I'm gonna pick a classic work of art: The Cheeseburger Song by Mr. Lunt(of VeggieTale fame). It's such a silly song, and so fun while being absolutely dramatic at the same time.


2. Your zodiac/horoscope, and if you think it fits your personality
Here's a thing I copied from astrology-zodiac-signs.com:

Strengths: Courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest, passionate
Weaknesses: Impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, aggressive
Aries likes: Comfortable clothes, taking on leadership roles, physical challenges, individual sports
Aries dislikes: Inactivity, delays, work that does not use one's talents

As the first sign in the zodiac, the presence of Aries almost always marks the beginning of something energetic and turbulent.They are continuously looking for dynamic, speed and competition. They are always first in everything - from work to social gatherings. Thanks to its ruling planet Mars, Aries is one of the most active zodiac signs. People born under the Aries sign, are meant to emphasize the search for answers to personal and metaphysical questions. This is the biggest feature of this incarnation.
Aries is a fire sign, just like Leo and Sagittarius. This means that it is in their nature to take action, sometimes before they think about it well. Their fiery ruler affects their excellent organizational skills, so you'll rarely meet an Aries who doesn't like to finish more things at once, often even before the lunch break! The challenges are increased when they are impatient, aggressive and vent anger on others.
Aries rules the head and leads with the head, often literally walking head first, leaning forwards for speed and focus. They are naturally brave and rarely afraid of trial and risk. They possess youthful strength and energy, regardless of age and they perform tasks in record time. By aligning with themselves they could achieve the best results.

I think I really fit that description. Especially the parts about initiating change, liking comfortable clothes, and being moody. And I am always first to things!

Day Sixteen

1. A song that has made you cry
Taking me back to my early highschool days with this one. "Whiskey Lullaby" by Alison Krauss and Brad Paisley. It's a sad song full of alcoholism and suicide. I mean, definitely cry-worthy.




2. Something you always think "what if..." aboutHonestly, there are a lot of things like that. What if I had finished college, what if I had done better in high school, what if I could figure out how to make my talents profitable?

I guess my biggest what if is more of a future tense, though. What if I just ran away? What if I said "fuck it" and moved to Seattle, or San Diego, or New York and started over?

Day Fourteen

1. A song that reminds you of your boyfriend/girlfriend
I'm distinctly lacking in that area, but I can give you something close. "Mockingbird" by Rob Thomas reminds me of the guy I'm currently schpoinking, and "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes reminds me of the guy I would like to have as a boyfriend.


2. What you wore today
I'm wearing my blue striped shirt with the ruffle at the bottom(very nautical, this shirt) and a nice pair of jeans. I've been wearing jeans to work lately because I'm never actually sure what I'm going to be doing.



This segment isn't as interesting as the usual fare, but I'm still drinking my first coffee so...

Day Thirteen

Ah, lucky number thirteen.

1. A song that reminds you of a former friend

This is gonna be a little out of left field, but "Superfreak" reminds me of my old friend.. Let's find a name... Lea. Yes.

We were in drama club in high school, and during one show she compiled all the songs we loved listening to as a group and made a mix cd. It was a lot of fun. Most of the songs were already generally known to me or have other memories attached, but somehow "Superfreak" is the one from that cd that just reminds me of her.

Not to say she was a superfreak. I mean, she did become a prostitute, but, you know how it goes.

2. Your opinion of your body and how comfortable you are with it

Softly, but with great feeling: no

Which is the answer to all presented questions. My opinion? no Comfortable? no

I find it a bit funny that the bane of my existence is also my literal existence.

Day Twelve

On the twelfth day of blogging, my journal prompts gave to me...

1. The last song you heard
I'm hearing "Rooster" by Alice in Chains right now!

2. Five guys whom you find attractive
Y'know what? It would be so easy to do this and just use celebrities or something, but what fun is that?

1. The guy on the grounds crew at work. He's really quiet, but he's definitely sharp as a tack and funny as hell. He's also one of those guys that can actually pull off his facial hair.

2. The guy who works at the Chinese takeout place in town. He's just so handsome.

3. An old friend of mine from high school. What's strange is that I haven't considered him attractive in a very long time, but he came back to town for a bit and I saw him acting. And like, all of a sudden it's like:













4. There's a guy at the college that works in admissions that just... Whew. And another that works with part of our history center. You know what? There are actually too many hot people at this college for me to list each one individually.

5. Chris Evans(Captain America). Ok, so maybe one celebrity. But he really, really deserves to be here. He's pretty and nice, which is twice as attractive.

Day Eleven

Good ol' onety-one.

1. A song on the soundtrack of your favorite movieMy favorite movie is Treasure Planet. Being a Disney movie, and very much aimed at early teens, there were only two non-orchestral songs on the soundtrack: "I'm Still Here" and "Always Know Where You Are", both performed by Johnny Rzeznik(lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls). I love them both so damn much.


2. Your familyThis is pretty open-ended, so I'm not sure quite what to say. So, let's talk about the time my dad accidentally went to Woodstock!
Dad was working as a bullganger, building water tanks up and down the east coast. He traveled hither and thither, welding things together, with a few days between to drive himself from job to job. Well one day, he was driving around upstate New York when he picked up a couple of hitchhikers headed to a music festival. It hadn't quite started yet; they were still setting up, so he decided to hang around and lend a hand. By the time he got back to his car that day, he was blocked in. And not just "there's a car behind me" blocked in, but a "there's a parking lot behind me" blocked in.

So began my father's three days of peace, love, and music. And a bad acid trip. There was bad acid being passed around at Woodstock(And you might be saying "Well, all acid is bad!" No. Trust me on this. There is good acid, and bad acid, and bad acid makes bad trips. Bad trips are, I've heard, potentially one of the most frightening things that can happen to a person. I'm talking flashbacks, people. It's bad.)

Dad, for a long minute, was under the impression that he'd taken some of this bad acid. He went to the Red Cross tent at the top of the hill overlooking the stage for the night. He didn't go in, but crashed on the ground under the tree. The next morning, he woke up to a primo view of Jimi Hendrix playing the Star Spangled Banner.

Day Ten

Pretend I've come up with something clever to put here involving the number ten.

1. A song from your favorite band"Name"by the Goo Goo Dolls. It's a slow, acousticy song and I love it.

And, you know, a cute boy played it for me, so...


2. Put your music player on shuffle and write down the first ten songs that play
"Automatic Flowers"-Our Lady Peace
"The Deep End"-Crossfade
"No Way Back"-Foo Fighters
"Breathe"-Melissa Ethridge
"Better Man"-Pearl Jam
"Rainbow Connection"-Kermit the Frog
"Shut Your Eyes"-Snow Patrol
"Bleeding Out"-Imagine Dragons
"Welcome to New York"-Taylor Swift
"Stars"-fun.

Day Nine

More like day... fine? I don't know.

1. A song that makes you hopeful
"Could Have Been Me" by the Struts. Not only is it an anthem against the 9-to-5, it's a great sing along song.

2. How important you think education is
SO! FUCKING! IMPORTANT!!!

As we may have noticed from my wayward rant about the educational system, there are few things more important in life than getting a good education. Not just book learnin', either. A well-rounded, hands-on application of knowledge in all areas of life. Health education, knowing our bodies(including our brains! Mental health education is soooooo important!). Life education, like changing a flat or doing our taxes or setting up an account with the electric company or what to do in an emergency.

It's also important to continue to educate ourselves through life, and be open to all the ways that education may happen. You can learn from anyone and anything. It's just a matter of mindframe.

Day Eight

More like Day Great, am I right?

1. A song that reminds you of your first love
Well, this is going to be odd, but "Just the Girl" by the Click Five. Nothing about the song has to do with him, but he really liked it. Come to think of it, it's the only song I know that he liked. Huh.


2. What you ate todayI don't have much past coffee in the mornings, usually. It feels like it sets a weird tone for the rest of the day with my body. But today, with Alex at home nagging me, I added an english muffin to the feast. (I can't complain, it was cinnamon raisin which is basically my favorite variety of english muffin, but still.)

Day Seven

1. A song that reminds you of the past summer
Honestly, I don't have anything that reminds me of this entire summer at all. I'm just not a "song of the summer" person. But if I had to pick one(which I do, because that's how the writing challenge works), it would be Eddie Vedder's cover of "Hurt" by Johnny Cash. Well, technically it belongs to the Nine Inch Nails, but they won't even perform it after Johnny did it so damn well, so whose is it really?

Let me start by saying that "Hurt" is one of those songs that is done to death, but always done well. People that can't do it well don't even attempt it. Eddie Vedder, lead singer of Pearl Jam, does great with every song he tries to do because... Well, because he's Eddie Vedder. And being Eddie Vedder, he's also known for changing song lyrics.

His version of "Hurt" is my favorite because at the very end, instead of singing

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

He sings

I would save myself
I would find a way
Which to me changed the meaning a fair bit. I love it. But none of this has anything to do with why it's my summer song.

As the muse and I headed down for our fantastic day at the beach, Johnny Cash's version of the song started to play. And knowing that Pearl Jam is his favorite band, I mentioned that I had the EV version as well. We listened to it, and surprisingly he favored the Cash version over the Vedder version. It surprised me a bit. But yeah, that's just about the only song I really associate with this summer.



2. Five pet peeves
Huh. Y'know, I'm not terribly peevish, but here goes.

1. When people move my things. This is probably a side effect of my mom taking all my stuff out of my room when I was a kid, but I can't stand for someone to touch my things. I get even more aggravated when someone moves my furniture without me around. Like, no. Leave it where it is.

2. Bad typing. I hide it really well, but I hate when people on say Facebook type poorly. Can't stand it. Is it really so hard to capitalize? Spell out a few of your words? I'm not talking about thorough spelling and punctuation and perfect grammar, those things are difficult and I understand that not everyone has that level of education. Just make an effort. Interestingly enough, this doesn't always apply. Just every once in a while.

3. Giving out my private number for work. Okay, look. I'm not getting benefits or days off for this shit, so the last thing I need is for my personal cell phone number to be given out to parents and faculty members. Public Safety is free to relay messages, but God help me if they give out my number one more time. I just yelled at them again this morning for that crap.

4. Grinding teeth. I hate the sound of teeth hitting each other. This, too, comes and goes. I'm ashamed to say it, but there have been times when I've told Alex to stop eating until I can put on a movie or something to drown out the sounds of his chewing. And seriously, the boy needs a mouth guard or something at night because he just grinds his damn teeth, I don't understand why or how, but jeez...

5. Not telling me. I have a lot of anxieties, and it drives me nuts when someone laughs at something, or starts to tell me something, then decides not to let me in on the thought. Maybe that's not an anxiety thing, maybe it's just a me thing, but it drives me up a wall like nobody's business.

Day Six

Sies! Sechs! Roku!

(Spanish, German, and Japanese for six, if you wondered.)


1. A song that reminds you of a best friend
Ahahahahaha. Well, the song that reminds me of my best friend the very most is "This boy is a Bottom" by Willam, Detox, and Vicky Vox. If you've never heard of them, it's because they are drag queens that do extremely gay parodies of songs. This is a song we listen to and sing along with(and harmonize to) all the time.

For the record, I adore drag queens. They're some of the most compassionate, accepting, and positive people in the entire world.

2. Your views on mainstream music
I'm not one of those godawful music elitists that turn their nose up at anything popular. If that sounds like a disclaimer someone might use directly before sounding like a godawful music elitist that turns their nose up at anything popular, that's because it is!

Mainstream music at this point in time is really hit-or-miss with me. I can enjoy the beats of some of it, but most of it just feels like it lacks heart. I also think the vocal quality of artists has gone down, but not in a "they can't sing" way. More of a "this voice sounds like this voice sounds like this voice" sort of way. They don't stand out, they aren't terribly distinct. There's no Steven Tylers around our mainstream today.

Day Five

And the hits just keep on comin'.

1. A song that is often stuck in your head
"Jeremy" by Pearl Jam is the worst offender right now. I didn't care for it much at first, but it's grown on me. Probably from being stuck in my head so damn much. (And can you tell I've been on a PJ kick?)

It really is an interesting song, born of the early rash of school shootings in the 90's. What I really like about it is that the singer is directly blaming Jeremy's actions on his negligent parents and the kids that bullied him., from back before all the anti-bullying campaigns really started up. That kind of awareness was still cutting edge at the time and not everyone wanted to hear it. Of course, that "fuck you, here's the truth" sort of thing is what Pearl Jam is all about.

2. Five things you want to say to your ex
To all exes in general:
1. You're a dick.

To El Douche:
2. You're a liar and if I ever had to pick one person in my life to kill, it would hands down be you. You're a disgrace to humanity and your bullshit never seems to catch up to you. I really hope bad things happen to you.

To Mister Clingy:
3. I miss your cat, and every great once in a while I kind of wish we could chill. But only ever a great once in a while.

To the most recent one:
4. Dude, seriously?? Wtf???
5. I wish you would recognize the flaws inherent in your ways of thinking. Like, I know you've been severely neglected throughout your entire life, and you think you'd be happy being alone on every level, but I really think that's a deep seated fear talking and you could overcome that... if you admitted to it first.

On further revision of the original question, it was "5. Things you want to say to your ex" and not "Five things..." but my answer is more entertaining, so we'll keep it.

Day Four

But wait, there's more!

1. A song that calms you down
Well damn, I already got to the best answer here, but I've got plenty more where that came from. "Sirens" by Pearl Jam is a pretty good one. "Just Breathe", also from Pearl Jam, is a nice one. "Name" by the Goo Goo Dolls. "First Day of My Life" from Bright Eyes. Anything medium-paced and acousticy, really.

2. Bullet your whole day
So far, here's what I've got. It's extra detailed because it's only 11am:

• Woke up
• Said hello to my cat
• Went into Alex's room to wake him up
• Ended up cuddling because hello dysfunctionality
• Got dressed
• Went to 7/11
• 7/11 is the coffee anti-Mecca
• Got crappy coffee, received crappy service
• Got to the office
• Scrolled through Facebook while drinking aforementioned crappy coffee
• Listened to people bitch
• Got scheduled for bi-weekley one-on-one meetings with new boss lady
• Calmed down because almost everyone gets those, so
• Also scheduled for meeting about driver they're mad at but I'm really not
• Unloaded vending machine snacks
• Set up vending machine
• It's so aesthetically pleasing, and calming to do
• The muse came in and told me a good punny joke
• My boss has mostly left me alone, which is always nice
• Now I'm just filling in the time until I go home and work on my gypsy costume

Day Three

And Day Three of the journal a day... thing! For the record, these are written on a daily basis; Getting them posted from my ipad mini is another beast entirely.

1. A song that reminds you of one/both of your parents
An excellent question!

Dad: "Space Oddity(Ground Control to Major Tom)-David Bowie
My dad's name is Tom, and he's a pilot so it mostly works, the vibe is right, all of that.

Mom: "Stand"-Donnie McClurkin
Mom used to play this song over and over and over when I was little. Knowing what I know now, I can see that it gave her strength when she really needed it.

2. A book you love
....Shit.
It's so hard to pick one. Then again, it says "a book you love" and not "the book you love the most", so that helps.

"People of the Book" by Geraldine Brooks is one of the first ones to spring to mind. It follows the story of a Jewish haggadah, the text used for Passover Seder. Haggadahs are usually very simple books. This one, the Sarajevo Haggadah, is an elaborate masterpiece.

Our main character is Hanna, a book conservator hired to restore the haggadah and trace it's origins. With each stain and sample she finds in the book, we're given a story from it's past, moving backward through time until we're finally given the story of it's creation. As we do, we're given a glimpse of the Jewish oppression that we don't hear about; the microagressions, the inquisitions and progroms.

The interesting thing about "People of the Book" is that I had no trouble putting it down for weeks or months at a time. Which isn't to say it wasn't interesting; it was extremely so, but lacked anything that made it a page-turner. It was an excellent read when I didn't want to feel rushed or pressured. Actually, it was my laundromat book for most of the reading, something I could put down when the dryer was finished with no real remorse.

It is a book I'd highly recommend, and I do still have it(if anyone wanted to borrow it).

Day Two

In continuing with the journaling challenge, I present the next two bits.

1. A song that reminds you of your most recent ex.
Hoo boy. It's hard to pick just one. I guess I could narrow it down to three, though.

-With or Without You, U2
Because I can't live with or without him. Which is exactly as pathetic as it sounds.

-Rearviewmirror, Pearl Jam
My liberation jam(haha, get it? Because jam, Pearl Jam... ha). Or at least it would be if I ever properly liberated myself.

-Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Creedence Clearwater Revival
Just one of his favorite songs. No deep meaning on this one.


2. Something you feel strongly about
Strap on your helmets kids, cause we're gonna talk about the educational system!

Back in the early 2000's, President Cowboy launched his infamous initiative "No Child Left Behind". The idea(or so I've been told) was to insure that every public school kid received a decent education. Which in itself was not a terrible goal, but the execution was lacking. The only way they tried to measure this increase in education was through standardized testing, which is never, ever a good measure of education. But enough about the details, let's get to the side effects!

The biggest problem with standardized testing is that it's not really asking you to apply the information you've been learning; it only asks you to answer a question. It's the equivalent of being able to bake a cake, or just being able to list the ingredients.

This system damaged kids on both ends of the spectrum. The ones that were on the lower end, the ones with trouble just memorizing facts, had a difficult time. The tests got simpler and simpler to try and accommodate that. Instead of teachers being able to teach properly, they were spending most of their time on repetition to get those kids up to the standardized test parameters. Most of the coursework of any given class turned into a smaller iteration of what was on the government issued tests.

Then you had the smart kids. There were a few kinds of smart kids in this instance. Kids that were good at repetition but not so much the application of knowledge did well on the tests and got good grades. The ones that were a little smarter than everyone else were able to breeze through the work and spent their spare time reading, or occasionally being put into slightly more challenging classes. Both of these groups went on to college and did reasonably well, but that's where a lot of remedial college classes come in; kids that didn't quite need to learn much more than a set of answers.

Some of the biggest losers of NCLB were the genius kids. And you may be asking "Why? They shouldn't have had any problem at all!" Well, that's the problem. The geniuses can be broken into two groups. There were the geniuses that did the work, got through school with a 4.5 GPA, and went on to any college they wanted. But once there, they ran into a wall; all of a sudden, school was hard. Had these kids been properly challenged at any point in their school careers, they would've kicked some serious ass. But the brain, much like a muscle, doesn't grow unless properly exercised. This first group of geniuses are the ones we see now, getting to college and having mental breakdowns because they've never had to use their intelligence before, they've never been challenged, they used to have confidence in their intellectual abilities but now they just aren't so sure because hey, didn't I used to be good at this?

The there's group two of the geniuses, those kids who could perceive the absolute futility of the educational system as a whole and did just enough to get by until graduation. They didn't see the point of college(crippling debt? No thanks!). I'm part of that group.


At the end of the day, we have a system that almost no one can truly flourish in, despite their level of ability.It's shitty, and I have to see the aftermath every day at my college.

Day One

In an effort to cultivate more actual writing from myself, rather than sporadic blurbs, I'm taking on a Pinterest journal writing challenge. In fact, because I'm an overachiever, I'm taking on TWO!

Also, work is slow and I want to look a little busy before my new boss finds something for me to do.

1. A song that reminds you of your childhood
My dad is a musician, so most songs written before 2001 remind me of my childhood. If I had to pick on that sticks out, it would be "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins.

When I was thirteen, I had all the usual problems of a new teenager. My crazy churchlady mother had recently stolen custody of me from my pot-smoking Vietnam-vet skydiving father and told me that if I didn't behave I would die before I hit 16, locking me into nigh imprisonment and sending me into a spiral of anger and bitterness that bordered on loathing.

Normal teenage stuff, right?

Highlights from that era include sneaking off to my dad's house while she was at church, having all the stuff taken out of my room, putting soap in my mouth(I had gotten smart and she said she'd wash my mouth out with soap when I got home. I decided that I was going to put that soap in my mouth first, so when she did it I wouldn't react.It worked, and I'm still really good at hiding pain and discomfort.), and generally fighting the good fight against her tyranny. What I usually don't tell people about this period of my life is how often I used to cry.

One night, as I was crying, I started singing very softly to myself.

Everything's gonna be all right
Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye
Everything's gonna be all right
Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye

Ladies and gentlemen, I had no idea where this song came from. I'd been writing songs, as all angsty teenagers do, so maybe I chalked it up to that. Without fail, it soothed me and helped me fall asleep, and always has since.

Fast forward a few years. I'm in my early 20's, somewhere that involved me, my father, and a radio. The song starts playing and dad says "I used to play this for you when you were a baby. Put you right to sleep." That song had lodged itself into my brain to come out right when I needed it the very most.


2. Five ways to win your heart
That's an excellent question. I guess if I had to boil it down:
1. Trying to make my smile(I'm a sucker for dumb jokes, really)
2. Having some issues of your own(I can't handle people with great lives and no mental problems very well; I just can't relate to them)
3. Good hugs(duh)
4. Go places with me(Adventure buddy!)
5. Have some kind of talent/passion(Writing, singing, acting-just something that shows a bit of soul, you know?)