I've noticed a trend with my boy's mother, and I'm starting to get really irritated.
She's been around an awful lot for someone who lives two hours away. And, granted, she may be trying to make up for lost time with her kids. I get that. But the curteous thing would be a little bit of notice(though, even when she gives more than a day, he forgets to tell me until the last minute). Alright, ok, just a small irritation. I'm always annoyed when people drop in that I need to clean for, and I didn't get to clean because I didn't know they were coming.
I like his mom, I do. She has great taste, she's very funny, always nice to me. But sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't like me much. She's a Facebooker; She tags, takes pictures, everything. But somehow, I never end up in her pictures. I'm never tagged.
Last night, my boy and I had to de-flea our apartment. No problem, but it involved us leaving for an hour or so to let things settle. So, our plan was to grab dinner, come back and finish the job, and then I could go to auditions. Good plan, right? I was going to use that dinner to sit and have a talk with him about some of the boundaries we need to set at work. Those kinds of conversations are always better in a neutral place.
As soon as we walk in, she texts him about dinner, and he invites her to join us. Alright, puts a damper on the things I had hoped to accomplish, and I dislike eating in front of people that I don't know very well, but whatever. She arrives, his little brother comes too, and it's great. So great, in fact, that we sat there for three and a half MOTHAFUCKIN HOURS. Three. And. A. HALF.
Good thing there's more than one audition.
So after all this, there's a brief bit of picture-taking, and we part ways(in a monsoon, no less). And this morning, I go to work, finish my tasks, and hop onto Facebook to see how the world at large is. Oh, Robin Williams is still dead, everyone's still sad(I mask my pain with apathy), and what's this? Haha, what a cute picture! And she tagged him. Funny, he doesn't even use Facebook. And... not me? Well, then.
I can't figure out if this is a matter of "you aren't my son's real girlfriend, so I don't have to acknowledge the relationship", or "I don't like you", or just an oversight. And, frankly, any fucks I gave about this subject flew out the window because I just found out my dad is in the hospital.
Dueces.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
I Love You. Crash.
Last weekend, I took some time off and went traveling. Nowhere new, but places I've always loved.
Day One took me to Assateague Island. When I was little, I loved horses, so having the birthplace of Misty right down the road was fantastic. I remember riding home from Virginia Beach with my dad. We'd get to the beach right at 5 in the morning, when the gate was open but no one was at the toll booth. He'd take a nap while I climbed the sand dunes, watching the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean.
I relived a god bit of that experience on this trip; I snuck in at 5am, determined to watch the sun rise. Unfortunately, it was a cloudy day, so I gradually watched the world go from dark gray to light gray. The upside of this was having the beach basically to myself. I found a little nest of sand(thanks, kids!) and set up shop.
While I was standing at the edge of the ocean, I thought about my boy more than anything. Before I'd left, he'd warned me about the dangers of undertow, especially on a beach with no lifeguards. I started going farther into the water, until I felt that not-so-gentle tug, and then I stopped. The last time I was here, I would've run into the waves and swam until I passed the point where the waves started to break. I would've body surfed back to the shore, only to repeat the whole process over. But this time was different. I stayed safe in the shallows. I started thinking about how every seven years, all of the cells in your body have regenerated, and you're an entirely new person. When I came here last, I was 20, in my last seven year cycle. This time, I was a new person. As the waves roared on, they drowned out the rest of my thoughts, and all I could keep in my mind was an excerpt from one of my favorite stories*:
I love you.
Crash.
I love you -
Crash.
I love –It was only me and the sea, but I was more full of love for him in that moment than I knew I could be. From there I walked over to my favorite visitor's center, as was tradition. I picked up a horseshoe crab and a few clams(one of them spit water at me! It was super cute). I found my travel buddy for the weekend, Henry the Hermit crab(don't worry, he's fake). I moved on to another one of my favorite places: the lighthouse.
I've always enjoyed the lifehouse. It intrigues me that since Assateague is a barrier island, sand collects on the shore and the island grows over time. This means that the lighthouse is actually getting further inland over time. Fun facts! Another fun fact: trying to climb to the top of the lighthouse is the best cardio I've ever been through. Every time I thought I was there, there was another flight. The view from the top was gorgeous, and almost entirely worth it. They were out of "I made it to the top!" stickers, but I had some fun conversations and took some great pictures.
From then on, the day was a flurry of favorite activities. I stopped at the McDonald's to feed the ponies next door(twenty years and a handful of corn is still only a quarter), and got to teach some kids about horses. Pony Tails, old tyme-y makers of various confectioneries, was right around the bend. Another tradition-I always buy a box of their saltwater taffy. It used to be for my mom, but now it's for my house. And I may have gotten some fudge. Because, well, delicious fudge. I was surprised to find a paranormal store above the shop. They had things both mystical(gemstones and tarot cards) to scientific(EMF meters and the like). They offered a ghost tour at night, but I was too tired to attend.
The funny thing about Chincoteague is the ratio of hotels, motels and inns to actual eateries. It's at least 20:1. I was trying to find something that didn't look incredibly high class, but I had no luck. At least I found a bookstore in my travels(I found a book I'd loved when I was 12 but had never seen again, a book by a little-known author that I love, and an Avengers comic. Good haul!).
Around 2, I'd had my fill of ponies and purchasing(I bought a lot of things, especially now that I lived in a town that depends on those busy summer months the same way Chincoteague does). I scooted on down to the Wallops Island NASA facility. I've always loved space. Most of the information in their visitor center was pretty basic, but seeing all of those kids becoming enthused about something for the first time was exhilarating. I even bought some spacey freeze-dried ice cream that my boy loves so much(ew).
By this point, I hadn't eaten since I started my journey at 4am. I stopped in at a seafood joint. It was a new experience, sitting in a restaurant by myself; Before that, they'd always been places to gather first and eat second. I brought in my book, and was relieved to see another person doing the same thing.
After a rather satisfying lunch, I checked in at the hotel, and settled in. Nothing interesting happened there, other than some cartoon watching(Spongebob and Fairly Odd Parents have gone to really weird places).
The next day was spent traveling to a friend's house. Most of those moments and conversations need not be spoken of on the public internet. There was an exchanging of Christmas gifts(I got a tea set!), some fine dining, some very fine theatre, and an awesome cast party(with added surprises-I got to see someone I hadn't seen in at least two years). It was a nice taste of life in a beach town.
There was even goodness in the empty space. Driving along on a nice day with the radio blasting is one of my happiest places. It was a long weekend, but at the end of it, I was happiest to come home where I belong. I unpacked my treasures and gifts, and snuggled up to my boy. He missed me, and I missed him.
I'm feeling a lot better about life. Having the chance to get away and not worry about anything was refreshing and vital, and I won't underestimate it again.
Day One took me to Assateague Island. When I was little, I loved horses, so having the birthplace of Misty right down the road was fantastic. I remember riding home from Virginia Beach with my dad. We'd get to the beach right at 5 in the morning, when the gate was open but no one was at the toll booth. He'd take a nap while I climbed the sand dunes, watching the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean.
I relived a god bit of that experience on this trip; I snuck in at 5am, determined to watch the sun rise. Unfortunately, it was a cloudy day, so I gradually watched the world go from dark gray to light gray. The upside of this was having the beach basically to myself. I found a little nest of sand(thanks, kids!) and set up shop.
While I was standing at the edge of the ocean, I thought about my boy more than anything. Before I'd left, he'd warned me about the dangers of undertow, especially on a beach with no lifeguards. I started going farther into the water, until I felt that not-so-gentle tug, and then I stopped. The last time I was here, I would've run into the waves and swam until I passed the point where the waves started to break. I would've body surfed back to the shore, only to repeat the whole process over. But this time was different. I stayed safe in the shallows. I started thinking about how every seven years, all of the cells in your body have regenerated, and you're an entirely new person. When I came here last, I was 20, in my last seven year cycle. This time, I was a new person. As the waves roared on, they drowned out the rest of my thoughts, and all I could keep in my mind was an excerpt from one of my favorite stories*:
I love you.
Crash.
I love you -
Crash.
I love –It was only me and the sea, but I was more full of love for him in that moment than I knew I could be. From there I walked over to my favorite visitor's center, as was tradition. I picked up a horseshoe crab and a few clams(one of them spit water at me! It was super cute). I found my travel buddy for the weekend, Henry the Hermit crab(don't worry, he's fake). I moved on to another one of my favorite places: the lighthouse.
I've always enjoyed the lifehouse. It intrigues me that since Assateague is a barrier island, sand collects on the shore and the island grows over time. This means that the lighthouse is actually getting further inland over time. Fun facts! Another fun fact: trying to climb to the top of the lighthouse is the best cardio I've ever been through. Every time I thought I was there, there was another flight. The view from the top was gorgeous, and almost entirely worth it. They were out of "I made it to the top!" stickers, but I had some fun conversations and took some great pictures.
From then on, the day was a flurry of favorite activities. I stopped at the McDonald's to feed the ponies next door(twenty years and a handful of corn is still only a quarter), and got to teach some kids about horses. Pony Tails, old tyme-y makers of various confectioneries, was right around the bend. Another tradition-I always buy a box of their saltwater taffy. It used to be for my mom, but now it's for my house. And I may have gotten some fudge. Because, well, delicious fudge. I was surprised to find a paranormal store above the shop. They had things both mystical(gemstones and tarot cards) to scientific(EMF meters and the like). They offered a ghost tour at night, but I was too tired to attend.
The funny thing about Chincoteague is the ratio of hotels, motels and inns to actual eateries. It's at least 20:1. I was trying to find something that didn't look incredibly high class, but I had no luck. At least I found a bookstore in my travels(I found a book I'd loved when I was 12 but had never seen again, a book by a little-known author that I love, and an Avengers comic. Good haul!).
Around 2, I'd had my fill of ponies and purchasing(I bought a lot of things, especially now that I lived in a town that depends on those busy summer months the same way Chincoteague does). I scooted on down to the Wallops Island NASA facility. I've always loved space. Most of the information in their visitor center was pretty basic, but seeing all of those kids becoming enthused about something for the first time was exhilarating. I even bought some spacey freeze-dried ice cream that my boy loves so much(ew).
By this point, I hadn't eaten since I started my journey at 4am. I stopped in at a seafood joint. It was a new experience, sitting in a restaurant by myself; Before that, they'd always been places to gather first and eat second. I brought in my book, and was relieved to see another person doing the same thing.
After a rather satisfying lunch, I checked in at the hotel, and settled in. Nothing interesting happened there, other than some cartoon watching(Spongebob and Fairly Odd Parents have gone to really weird places).
The next day was spent traveling to a friend's house. Most of those moments and conversations need not be spoken of on the public internet. There was an exchanging of Christmas gifts(I got a tea set!), some fine dining, some very fine theatre, and an awesome cast party(with added surprises-I got to see someone I hadn't seen in at least two years). It was a nice taste of life in a beach town.
There was even goodness in the empty space. Driving along on a nice day with the radio blasting is one of my happiest places. It was a long weekend, but at the end of it, I was happiest to come home where I belong. I unpacked my treasures and gifts, and snuggled up to my boy. He missed me, and I missed him.
I'm feeling a lot better about life. Having the chance to get away and not worry about anything was refreshing and vital, and I won't underestimate it again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)