But If You Try Sometimes

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
Well you just might find
You get what you need
-The Rolling Stones

I think, given the past few blog entries, that's what I want is pretty clear. I want him, I want my job to be full time, and I want to be conventionally attractive. But you know what? Even without these things, I've got what I need.

My job pays my bills, with a little play money left over. It's satisfying, too; I get to help people pretty often. The people I work with are delightful(for the most part).

I'm not ass-ugly. The kind of beauty I'm interested in can be earned. I don't have any weird growths, I'm reasonably proportionate. I can't tan, but hey, pale is in.

And him? He seeks me out, spends time with me, looks out for me. We went kayaking the other day. He brought me water and sunscreen. He literally gave me the shoes off of his feet when mine broke. He checks on me. He comes to my plays. And soon, he'll be with me for my big trip. He's coming with me to the place where my heart lives.

Maybe it's an entirely platonic thing and this is just what it's like to have a very close friend(though I've had those before, and I'm gonna say it was never quite like this). And right now, I'm not concerned on details. Ok, so I'm occasionally overwhelmed with the desire to run my fingers over his tattoo, but I can resist that. As much as I want him closer, he's always as close as I need him to be. Not everyone has that. I should be damned grateful.

Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Jagger.