Being A People

Life is hard. Life is really, really, really hard.

There's just being a human in general; Getting enough sleep, eating enough but not too much, obtaining food and shelter(Our ancestors went hunting and found caves, we work day in and day out. I wonder which one was harder?), and making sure all our systems are in check.

Once you get past our basic biology, there's other humans. Interacting with people is the hardest part of life. You have to learn how to navigate these weird, complex social mazes. The worst part is that if you move a hundred miles in any direction, those mazes are totally different. And there are variations-fake walls and dead ends-that keep you from ever really getting the layout of the maze right.

It's easy to get lost in that maze. You can screw up and make someone angry, and lose a job or a house or nothing at all but your piece of mind. You can start feeling so bad about not being the right kind of human that you stop eating for awhile, or throw up the food you worked so hard for. Some people even give up being a human entirely.

But let's say that you have learned to successfully navigate the societal maze. You now have friends, sometimes family, people that are sort of both, and coworkers/acquaintances/other humans you regularly interact with. And that's really the hardest part of being a human-Caring about other humans. Because you're worried about eating and sleeping and providing, and being a good human to other humans, and then worrying about how well these other humans are doing with their human-ing.

That's the point where we go from being humans-a bipedal sapien species of animal-to being people. Being a people is the hardest thing of all. It comes with relationships, art, music, expression, and the things that really make us thrive. More and more, I'm finding that being a people sometimes comes at the cost of being a human-giving up a little bit of that biological security(in this society, money) to make someone's life a little more bearable(a nice gift, or some financial help).

I'm finding it hard to be a people. It's hard for me to make friends, and make time for the people that are already close. It's worse when I can't be there when people need it most, because they're far away or because I just don't know how to help. It's hard for me to worry about everyone while I can't really deal with myself. Sometimes I give up being a people for a little while, and just try to be a human. Thank God there's music to help us be people again.

"Human"-Christina Perri

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
'Til I've had enough

'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human