If All Else Fails

Having non-platonic affections for a friend is always risky business.

In my head, I'm bemoaning the idea that you have this friend, and you have feelings for that friend, and they're unaware, so is spending time with that friend a betrayal of the perfectly platonic nature in which you two have been conducting yourselves? Or are you honestly using that friend-time to further your own agenda? How would your friend feel if they found out that all along those friendly gestures were an attempt to grow closer, only to swoop in when the time was right? 

Granted, this swooping is something more commonly associated with friend-zoned guys than women, but it could still happen. And I'm painfully aware of it in all my interactions with him.

Regardless, I look forward to our time together.  Right now, I'm counting down the hours to our movie night tonight. Not because I'm excited to spend that time with him(which I am), but because it's been a rough week, and today has been the roughest. It was one of the days where I'm the target of my lady boss' ire. The shuttles and drivers have been overworked, and so have I. My house is a mess, and really I don't have the gumption to get to it just yet. Earlier this week, I smashed a transmission hose on my car. My upstairs neighbor wakes me up constantly. I'm a tightly curled spring of equal parts exhaustion, irritation, and tension.

But the thought of hanging out with him has been my saving grace. With him, I don't have to put on a mask. I'm free. I'm happy.

If all else fails, I've found a true friend.