Indescribable Moments of your Life

Seeing the fireflies rise up from the grass just after sunset. It's like swimming through the stars.

The burst of motivation that hits you only every so often, and leads you to clean your entire house in a couple of hours.

One day, you eat nothing but eggs. The next, you eat nothing at all. You think in numbers, measuring your progress religiously. You feel defined, but it doesn't hurt as bad as it used to.

Having a mini-ritual with someone, like the way you and the nice boy from work talk while you get your coffee in the mornings you work early.

Falling asleep next to your beautiful boy. In that moment between sleeping and awake, where Tink always waits for Peter Pan, and you admit to yourself that it will never be the same. You and him are changed, in ways both good and bad.

Learning how to fix a car yourself, and remembering that you've also learned to stand alone.

The nice boy texts you random things sometimes and compliments you(on your hair and your cleverness). You feel a ball of happiness tucked away inside, that you pull out and look at sometimes when no one is around.

Sometimes, the world is an awful place. It feels like everything is going to come crashing down. You have a moment where you remember that the world has felt like this before. Your grandmother survived the Depression, your father survived Vietnam, you will survive this. This too shall pass.

You go down to the boathouse to take stock of your boat trailers for work. The guy that runs the operation tells you about his band and his songwriting, how to take out the kayaks and the combination for the shed. He reminds you of the 80's, when things were loose and free. It's nice. He admits to having a few tags on the wrong trailers, having a few in his office, losing the stickers for the ones that he doesn't take on the road. You let it slide.

You first heard this song while you were working in the print shop. The muse turned it up, either not knowing or caring that you were there. It's wonderful, and cathartic, and you love it. It describes something in you that you haven't named before. You play it at full blast in the car, and it reminds you of him sometimes. You hope he believes in you like you believe in him.