Motherhood is Not Mandatory

If you're a young woman and you say "I don't want kids", you'll probably hear something along the lines of "You'll want them when you're older." Apparently, unlike your career choices or clothing style, your motherhood is a must-have accessory to your uterus.

There are plenty of schools of thought here. Of course, there's the patriarchy and blah blah blah. I'm not getting in to that. But there's this idea maintained throughout humanity that estrogen somehow makes you baby crazy. That some day, some how, you'll begin to hear the tick-tock of your biological clock chasing you the way that crocodile chased Captain Hook.

I'm gonna tell you two stories.

Story One starts with my mother. I was a stay-baby, a child conceived out of a desire to keep a partner around. It's actually called reproductive coercion. My mother was 100% unfit to be a mom; And let me be clear, I mean completely bad at it. There was no occasionally thinking that she was kind of ok. She was no Emily Gilmore or Roseanne. No, this woman is emotionally closed off, manipulative, needy, and easily addicted to whatever she can get her hands on. This is not someone who should've reproduced.

Now, my second story is a synopsis of a dream I recently had. In it, I was pregnant. I don't remember the details, but I can recall enough to make my point. I was scared of the pain, and confused because I didn't know whose last name the baby would have. And I kept wondering how I could get out of this predicament, because I did not want this baby at all, and how would I pay for things with all that time off work? But more than anything, I remember my dream self absolutely sobbing. The whole time.

My point is, I don't want kids. It gives me nightmares. Being female doesn't require childbearing. It's 2014. Women have options in this world. No one can force you to have a kid, and you don't have to think it's necessary. Children are a choice you can make. But I'm not making it.