At Least I Have Clean Dishes

I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately, over a variety of things. My father is out of the hospital, and that's the top of the can of worms. My mother had offered to take him in while he was healing, but now swears she never said that, but what about her cats, and why can't he stay with me, and I just forsee becoming more involved in their lives than I had ever planned on being.

There's the general anxiety of being twenty-three and not knowing where my life is going. Once upon a time, the twenties were a time to figure out your life. Nowadays, it seems like you should be going into them with a plan. I'm not headed towards a career or marriage, I have no intentions of having children- It's an overwhelming feeling of "What am I doing with my life?"

Ladies, is there any worse feeling than wearing the same garment as someone else and holding the belief that they look better in it? Yes, actually. Having the love of your life mention what a booty she has(not even in positive or negative terms, mind you) and THEN going to rehearsal and seeing that you're both wearing the same jeans. God knows he doesn't mean any harm, and he's told me at least three times this week that I shouldn't worry and that he loves me unconditionally, but he doesn't get that he just can't say that sort of thing around me. I compare myself to everyone around me, constantly. I really can't understand how he hasn't figured that out yet.

Of course, there are various smaller anxieties; the show, my car, et cetera. They pile up until I feel like I'm going to explode and it keeps happening at a more rapid rate.

I have found, though, that it helps to clean the house. Something about taking the negative energy and using it for something productive helps me chill out. A load of clean dishes is a sign that the day was rough, but I feel better now. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand that.

"It's 9 o'clock at night."
"And?"
"You're not doing dishes. They'll be fine for another night. Go to bed."
"But-"
"Seriously. You are exhausted. You don't need to do everything all the time. It's not the fucking sixties. Go to bed."

His complete and total lack of misogyny is really getting in the way of my stress relief.