My tire has stopped deflating.
The tire, which has needed at least one trip to an air pump a day(sometimes two), has miraculously stayed full for three days. I think the small part of my ancestry that might be Jewish is kicking in.
I've also lost my father. Not lost as in "he's dead", but I can't find him. He doesn't answer the phone, hasn't paid the bills, and I'm lead to believe he hasn't been at work either. It's slightly distressing, because I do hate living alone, but hopefully my apartment and my beautiful boy will be waiting for me soon.
Life in Chestertown proves to be gloriously mundane thus far. I sat and waited for the drawbridge to come down today, and a song came into my head. It's from the soundtrack of The Hunger Games(I haven't seen the movie, but I've read the series at least four times). It reminds me of myself at this moment-going out into the world (almost) on my own. Yesterday, I was a kid dreaming about going out into life with sword drawn, hoping I'd win. Today, it's harder than I thought it would be, but I'm learning. They say you stop living when you stop learning, so at the end of the day at least I can confirm that I'm still alive.
"Eyes Open"
Everybody's waiting
Everybody's watching
Even when you're sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
The tricky thing
Is yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers
Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands and keeps score
Keep your eyes open
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard
Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this far
But turn around (turn around), oh they've surrounded you
It's a showdown (showdown) and nobody comes to save you now
But you've got something they don't
Yeah you've got something they don't
You've just gotta keep your eyes open
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes
Keep your feet ready
Heartbeat steady
Keep your eyes open
Keep your aim locked
The night goes dark
Keep your eyes open
(Keep your eyes open [4x])
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
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